Read some interesting research today. I learned that retaliating against a boss is more acceptable to employees if the retaliation is an act of no action or omission, than active efforts to harm an unfair boss. I knew this somewhere in my head, but I had to read it to believe it. So this means that employees who are angry with their boss or maybe a co-worker feel it’s O.K. to forget to send an important piece of information or they may wait till it’s almost too late.

This kind of passive-aggressive behavior now takes on a new meaning. There are passive -aggressive people who just behave that way, but now I believe that regular people who want to retaliate have found a way to harm another without being caught.

O.K. I admit to doing this myself, and I’m sure most people have done it, but imagine if everyone at work was really harming one another in a silent war.

In a healthy workplace there is probably very little of this, because in a healthy workplace everyone functions as a team that supports each other.

But, if you are working in an unhealthy work place, this is probably going on all the time. What makes this so disturbing, is that it’s hard to prove that this is happening. So in general this behavior can be very damaging.

Let’s all try to resist the temptation to retaliate by no action or omission. Even if it seems so delicious and irresistible, make a conscience effort to be up front.

Have you ever heard the saying, “If you’re feeling hysterical, it’s probably historical?” It’s one of my favorite sayings in the world because it’s often so true.

Think about it… when someone interrupts you during a meeting and you suddenly want to punch that person’s lights out – is it really because of that one interruption? When a client criticizes your work and you feel embarrassed, sad, angry to the core, is it really about that client’s singular critique?

Deep, strong, historical feelings can get triggered by single incidents where the offender has no idea that he or she said or did something to upset you.

The next time YOU feel hysterical because of someone else’s behavior or words, take a moment. Give yourself some time to investigate what might be happening inside of you. Go for a run, call a friend, allow the toxins to rise up and out of you. If you can trace the strong emotions to historical events, you could have an ah-hah moment and let some of that history go.

We knew it was coming, yes it’s finally here, what we thought was temporary was actually the beginning of new normal. So we are doing twice the work with half the resources and stressed to the max. Does this sound familiar? Now, we just have to learn how to live like this. If we had not had it so good we might not have noticed. We humans only like when things get better, bigger, or move forward. Moving backwards is not what we expect or want.

I think there is another way to look at this. You may not like what I’m about to say and you may not want to hear another thing I have to say, but here it is. We have to change our values. We need to learn to live with less. We must find the joy it’s what’s important. We must take more responsibility for the world around us. We have to become less self-centered.

There it is, I said it. You know I’m right. Even though I’m not the only one saying this, why are so many people not listening?