Category: meditation

The Best Revenge

There is a saying that living well is the best revenge. At work, enjoying what you do and taking pride in the results is the best revenge. If someone at work gets under your skin, do not let that person’s bad behavior overtake your mind. The more you focus on someone else’s bad behavior, the more he or she is “winning.”

Instead of obsessing about what he or she did, try focusing in on what you need to accomplish today. Try paying very close attention to the project you’re working on or the presentation you’re designing. If you interact with clients or colleagues, give them your full concentration.

Why is that important? For two reasons: First, by focusing on doing something constructive you gain a sense of power and accomplishment. Second, putting your energy into a creative endeavor will energize you. When you do have to deal with the irritating colleague or boss or customer again, you won’t feel totally drained and depleted.

It may take a while to come up with a winning strategy for handling a difficult workplace relationship. In the mean time, committing to creating results that you can be proud of is the best revenge.

Going with the Flow

Sometimes, the things we plan to do at work get completely derailed by other events that demand our attention. Your internet connection goes down, the lights blow out, a client emergency arises, or someone calls in sick.

In these moments, it’s easy to become both exasperated and tense. ‘How am I going to complete my list of tasks?’ you wonder. ‘Why did this have to happen?’

When unplanned events throw a wrench in your plans, your best strategy is to practice going with the flow. Going with the flow means you take a deep breath, adjust to the circumstances, and trust that things will work out. Going with the flow requires accepting the current reality of what just happened and moving with it.

Going with the flow at work is not an airy fairy response to emergencies and interruptions. Rather it’s an understanding that these sudden events are a part of life.

If something happens today that upsets your plans, try going with the flow. Take a deep breath, incorporate the new reality, and trust that tending to this inconvenient occurrence doesn’t have to ruin your day.

Hitting the Pause Button

If you are like most people, the people and devices around you at work require constant interaction. Emails demand a reply. Meetings fill your calendar and require participation. Social media portals buzz, click, tweet and ping – insisting that you respond in kind. It’s easy to spend an entire day reacting and responding, without actually accomplishing anything.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed; if it seems like you never get any traction on the projects that you truly care about, try hitting the pause button. The next time someone insists that you take on a new task, ask for a moment to think about it. If you’re at your desk feeling pulled in ten directions, close all your files (paper and digital) for a minute. Hit the pause button, allow your brain to re-boot and discover its priorities. Pause long enough to evaluate what efforts are worth your time and what can simply wait.

Sometimes, you may discover that you need to say, “no,” to the latest demand for your attention, or “not now.” Sometimes, you may decide to put down whatever you’re doing and address a more pressing issue. Pause, recalibrate, and move forward with your day. Take a few moments to decide what matters most.

What he said…

This quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson is so beautiful, it needs to be its own meditation:

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

Boundaries, Anger and You

Interpersonal boundaries, the lines or parameters that define and protect the territory between individuals, can be difficult to discern. How do I know when my behavior feels invasive to you? How can you tell if you’ve offended my sense of propriety?

Because interpersonal boundaries are imperceptible to the human eye, and because they differ from person to person, they have to be communicated. Part of the work at work involves defining and expressing your own interpersonal boundaries.

Here’s a hint: If you are continually angry, upset or complaining about someone or something, you probably need to set a boundary.

In this case, anger can be your friend. It’s telling you that you feel invaded and probably need to protect yourself. It’s important not to act out in anger. Rather, notice who and what bothers you. Then consider whether you need to communicate a boundary.

If a coworker’s voice is too loud, can you ask that person to lower the volume – explaining that you’re having a hard time concentrating?

If your client is behind in payment, can you explain that until you receive payment for work already delivered, you won’t be able to move on future projects?

If your boss or coworkers habitually email you at midnight, can you stop responding to all emails after 10 p.m.?

Use your anger as a signal that someone may be inadvertently invading your territory. Then see what you can say or do to communicate your limit.

Letting nature help

Mother nature is a powerful tonic for whatever ails you. When it comes to work and the people, places and things that upset us, nature can pull us out of obsession, worry or frustration in a minute. You may not have the time or the inclination to walk along a sandy beach or hike up a rocky mountain trail. Still, you can soothe your mind and refresh your energy by taking just a few moments in your busy day to observe and absorb some aspect of nature.

Even urban settings provide blue skies, racing clouds, bright sun and shimmering moon. Perhaps you catch a flock of birds soaring overhead. You may notice the hearty smell of the earth as you walk to your bus or car or train.

Try it. Just a moment of ingesting the air, trees, grass, reeds, birds, squirrels, water, sky, or whatever form of nature thrives in your environment.

Take it in. Feel your feet on the ground. Become aware of your place in the bigger picture. Exhale and move forward with your day.

Accepting what we don’t like

One concept that is very hard to comprehend but very powerful when practiced is acceptance. Most people mistake acceptance for something else; they think that accepting a person or thing is the same as approving of it.

“I’m not going to accept my supervisor’s moodiness. That would be condoning the behavior.” Wrong. Acceptance is looking at what is and saying, “this Is my reality.”

So, for example, you can accept the fact that the economy is reeling but you don’t have to like it. You can accept the fact that your lazy coworker always finds reasons to dump work on your desk, but you don’t have to complete his or her assignments. You can accept the fact that you don’t like a certain customer without having to forfeit the business.

The simple act of stating what is and accepting it as your current reality breathes some air into the problem; makes it a little less dense; acknowledges your reality.

When something bugs you today, try accepting it. Just say, “I accept the fact that I’m caught in a traffic jam,” or “I accept the fact that my computer is down,” or “I accept the fact that Joyce talks incessantly.” Write down the facts about the people or things you don’t like then practice accepting them.

You’ll be amazed at the results.

Giving Yourself Credit

Ever notice yourself wanting more credit or recognition or appreciation from others for your hard work? Ever resent the people who have no problem patting themselves on the back or bragging about their accomplishments?

Building your own sense of value and confidence at work is an ongoing exercise. This is especially true if you work for someone who is highly demanding or extremely critical. It may also be true if you work for a company that expects everyone to bend over backwards to meet its goals

Today, try giving yourself credit for the things you wish someone else would appreciate. If you finish a report ahead of schedule, pat yourself on the back. If you field numerous customer complaints, acknowledge the skill and patience it took to do that. If you solve a major glitch in a software program, stand up and take a bow.

Taking a moment to savor your successes will increase you enjoyment at work. If you’re too busy to notice what you accomplished during the day, take a moment after work to write down three things you did right.

Yes, it would be better if the people you work for were more appreciative, but don’t let that stop you from taking in the good.