Category: meditation

Cool anger works better than hot

Ever notice how irritating other people’s behavior can be in the heat of summer? When someone jumps in front of you in a line or pushes you into an elevator, or cuts you off in traffic, it can be very tempting to blow a fuse.

Similarly, when someone acts in a rude, obnoxious or inconsiderate manner at work, you may want to strike back by yelling, chiding or otherwise telling them off.

While a quick blow up may release steam in the moment, losing your cool at work is generally not recommended. You don’t want to risk looking volatile or unprofessional or out of control.

The next time someone really ticks you off, try to hit the pause button. Take a mental time out, and then find a way to release the anger physically, through exercise, deep breathing, or splashing cold water on your face.

Once you’ve cooled down, then you can consider whether the incident is worth addressing from a cool, collected position on your part. The key is to use your anger constructively — to draw a line or communicate a boundary. Don’t let it set you on fire.

Who is Getting Your Full Attention?

Distracted in a Meeting

Ever notice how irritating other people’s behavior can be in the heat of summer? When someone jumps in front of you in a line or pushes you into an elevator, or cuts you off in traffic, it can be very tempting to blow a fuse.

Similarly, when someone acts in a rude, obnoxious or inconsiderate manner at work, you may want to strike back by yelling, chiding or otherwise telling them off.

While a quick blow up may release steam in the moment, losing your cool at work is generally not recommended. You don’t want to risk looking volatile or unprofessional or out of control.

The next time someone really ticks you off, try to hit the pause button. Take a mental time out, and then find a way to release the anger physically, through exercise, deep breathing, or splashing cold water on your face.

Once you’ve cooled down, then you can consider whether the incident is worth addressing from a cool, collected position on your part. The key is to use your anger constructively — to draw a line or communicate a boundary. Don’t let it set you on fire.

When Talking Beats Texting at Work

The digital age is amazing. We can deliver all kinds of messages and solve all kinds of problems. Here’s the trick — electronic communication (email, texts, tweets) when addressing an emotionally charged situation is always open to misinterpretation. When in doubt, say it to the other person’s face. Old fashioned? Maybe. But sensitive material deserves personal delivery.

What’s one thing you can complete today?

In this age of multi-tasking, multi-texting, multi-platforms and constant responding, it can be very difficult to feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of a work day.

Each day may require that you attend several meetings, respond to hundreds of emails, juggle many projects.

One way to help yourself get organized is to simply decide on ONE THING that you need to accomplish each day. Pick one thing — it could be a sales pitch you need to finish or an important email that you want to send. It could be a call you’ve been meaning to make, or a design you want to refine.

Focus on and complete one thing — It will help the rest of your day fall into place. And it will satisfy that part of your mind that needs to see results.

Try it. Pick one thing. Complete it. Check it off the list. Then see how you feel.

Responding to negative feedback

How do you feel when someone offers negative feedback to you? Do you appreciate it? Do you wish the person would go away? Do you bristle or blush or get steaming mad?

Receiving, processing and responding to feedback that isn’t positive can be a challenging exercise for many people. If you’re someone who cares deeply about your work, if you’re determined to produce excellent results, negative feedback can be humbling — even painful.

But it’s also extremely rich. If you can take the message and use it for learning purposes, (instead of a whipping post) negative feedback always helps you grow.

Today, if someone criticizes your way of performing a task, or corrects your presentation, or re-writes your copy or critiques your design, see if you can take the information in without feeling bad about yourself or despising the messenger.

Say “I’m willing to find the good in this moment.” Take a breath, thank the person who delivers it, and take a little time to cool off. Then use the feedback to improve your professional self.

Before You Offer Advice…

Before you offer advice, make sure that the person on the receiving end is open to hearing it.

Sometimes, we think we know what someone needs to do or say or even wear at work. We’re sure that we’re right, and if our colleague or client would just listen to us, a certain problem or situation would immediately improve.

But offering unsolicited advice to someone who’s not ready to receive it can create more problems going forward.

Before you offer advice, stop and take the recipient’s temperature.

Say, “I’ve got a few ideas about how to resolve _________. Let me know when you’re ready to hear it.”

If you’re itching to advise a colleague on a personal matter like health or weight or love life, you’re better off waiting until that person requests your input.

If you can’t hold it in, say, “I’m having a strong reaction to ________. Can we discuss it?” Or “I’m really concerned about ________ . “ and see how the listener responds.

It may be hard to zip your lip. You may feel anxious and frustrated. But learning when and how to offer advice is an important life skill. It takes practice to offer assistance in a way that can be received.

Morning Routine

What’s your morning routine? Do you fall out of bed after hitting the snooze button a dozen times, jump in the shower, and rush off to work? Or do you take a few moments to wake up, drink tea or coffee, read or write, exercise, and prepare for your day?

I find that my morning routine really matters. If I start out rushed, frazzled, or running behind, so goes the day. If I give myself time to check in and get centered, then my day unfolds in a similar fashion.

In a world where we’re constantly asked to react and respond, where the work day can start any time and end whenever, giving yourself just a little time to wake up and re-enter the world could make a BIG difference.

Try giving yourself time to wake up, check in, and decide what matters today. Your mind and body will thank you later.

A Breath of Fresh Air can go a long way

If there is one way to improve your mood immediately at work, it’s through the breath. This exercise comes from my yoga teacher, Charlotte Stone. Try it, you’ll like it:

Stressed? Tired? Having trouble adjusting to the change of season? Take a Breathing Break with Wave Breath, Viniyoga style.

What? Now? Yes, right now! Just do it!

Here we go.

Turn off your phone. Have a comfortable seat. Take a deep breath in, and sigh it away.

Now, inhale and expand at your collarbones … ribcage … and abdomen. Enjoy the brief pause at the top of the inhalation. Exhale and release the breath slowly from the abdomen … ribcage … collarbones. Enjoy the pause between exhale and inhale. Repeat a few more times, taking your time.

Don’t strain, and don’t try to hold your breath; just let the breath come and go easefully, in an oceanic, wavelike motion.

Try Wave Breath for one minute. Yes, just one minute can make such a difference! When you feel complete with the breath, return to your natural breathing rhythm. Notice how you feel …

Enjoy!