Tag: workplace emotions

Giving Yourself Credit

Ever notice yourself wanting more credit or recognition or appreciation from others for your hard work? Ever resent the people who have no problem patting themselves on the back or bragging about their accomplishments?

Building your own sense of value and confidence at work is an ongoing exercise. This is especially true if you work for someone who is highly demanding or extremely critical. It may also be true if you work for a company that expects everyone to bend over backwards to meet its goals

Today, try giving yourself credit for the things you wish someone else would appreciate. If you finish a report ahead of schedule, pat yourself on the back. If you field numerous customer complaints, acknowledge the skill and patience it took to do that. If you solve a major glitch in a software program, stand up and take a bow.

Taking a moment to savor your successes will increase you enjoyment at work. If you’re too busy to notice what you accomplished during the day, take a moment after work to write down three things you did right.

Yes, it would be better if the people you work for were more appreciative, but don’t let that stop you from taking in the good.

It’s not personal

When it comes to workplace relationships, the notion of not taking someone else’s behavior personally is one of the toughest to really internalize.

If you are a friendly, thoughtful person, and someone at work never says “hello,” refuses to say “please” and never thanks you, it’s tempting to think that he or she is being mean and discourteous to YOU. The truth is that this individual is being who she or he is, and you happen to be there. That same individual would be just as rude to anyone else. You didn’t cause that behavior and it will continue long after you leave.

What would it be like if you could take a coworker or boss or company’s behavior less personally? How would you feel if you could attribute a cranky person’s brusque remarks as their problem, not yours?

Today, look for an opportunity to take someone else’s behavior less personally. whether it’s a sarcastic remark, a thoughtless act, or an angry reaction, remind yourself that you are not the reason why this person is acting poorly. It may feel personal, but it isn’t.

Opening your business tool box

Very often the situations at work that seem the most “broken” can be at least partially repaired by opening your business tool box.

What is that you ask? It’s the conceptual “box” that holds a variety of business tools; tools that can be used in business interactions. The average business tool box contains job descriptions, office procedures, company policies, meeting agendas, and all kinds of documentation. Your business tool box may contain emails, time sheets, departmental goals and employee evaluation forms.

You have a meeting with someone who makes you nervous? Open your tool box and pull out a meeting agenda. Preparing a list of the items you want to cover with this person will help both of you get more out of the meeting.

Is there a person at work whose behavior seems wildly inappropriate? Open up your tool box and pull out the documentation tool. Keep a clear record of your transactions — what the other person says, does and communicates to you. If you want proof of this colleague’s crazy behavior, documentation is the tool that will help you most.

What is your challenge today? Look at your business tools and see which ones can come to your aid.

Adjusting your routine to feel better

I know, I know. You’re too busy and too tired to do anything for yourself. You don’t have time for exercise or relaxation or spending time with good friends. You don’t have the energy to do anything that would actually alleviate your stress.

You’re busy working longer hours, not taking lunch, eating take-out, staring at your smart phone, and crashing into bed after you pass out in front of the computer or the t.v.
Think again.

Just a slight adjustment in your routine could make a world of difference. It could be 15 minutes of exercise a day, or a brief morning meditation, or going to bed a half hour earlier, or walking to work instead of taking the bus. It could be one less cup of coffee, or bringing healthy snacks to work, or attending one spin class a week.

Whatever the change, commit to it, and build it into your routine. Don’t wait to be rescued. Only you can make the time to feel better.

Try inserting a small activity into your routine for 90 days, and see how you feel.

30 seconds of gratitude

If you’re in a situation that is stressful or you work with someone who really bothers you, it’s easy to focus on what’s wrong, and difficult to remember what’s right. Gratitude can be a powerful weapon in the battle against emotional heartburn at work.

Not sappy gratitude for things you don’t really care about; Not imposed gratitude from someone else’s list (as in “you should be happy you have a job.”) What counts is True Gratitude for the people and things that you appreciate.

You know, that parking attendant who always greets you with a smile, or your favorite coffee bar. Maybe you’re grateful for an easy commute, or thankful for a favorite song that you hear playing.

Consciously practicing gratitude can alleviate all kinds of stress. Why? Because an attitude of gratitude puts you in the NOW. It allows you to pause and appreciate what is — instead of bemoaning what isn’t. And what we focus on does tend to build. Today, try just 30 seconds of gratitude. Just 30 seconds of appreciating what is good in your life. You’ll be glad you did.

Do you unhook?

Unhooking is a system for changing your reaction to emotionally upsetting circumstances at work. It could be a difficult coworker, a demanding boss or an impossible client. To unhook, you have to stop waiting for the other person to change, and start taking back your power. The first step in unhooking is physical.

Unhook physically by taking actions to release the negative energy stored in your body from dealing with someone else’s bad behavior. Methods for unhooking physically include washing your face, taking a walk, playing sports, working out, doing yoga or simply breathing slowly and deeply. Try it today. If you feel your head throbbing, your neck aching, your stomach churning or your arms tingling, do something physical to unhook. You’ll be glad you did.

You’re probably right

You’re probably right: That coworker you work with is incompetent. The employee you manage does have a bad attitude. Your boss should appreciate how hard you work. And your company isn’t paying you enough.

Now that we’ve established how right you are, what’s next? You can congratulate yourself for being right. But that affords limited satisfaction. Your situation won’t improve until you do something different. Sorry. It’s not fair. But your attitude is what will change your reality.

So accept that you are right, and get ready to respond to the difficult people at work differently.

How to ride a bad mood

This week has been interesting because I can safely say I’ve been in a bad mood for much of it. Perhaps it’s because I don’t want summer to end. Maybe it’s connected to the approach of 9/11. Or Maybe it’s just ‘cuz. While it’s tempting to wonder why, the bigger issue is how to ride it out.

When I’m in a bad mood, external experiences tend to match. So this week, I lost my purse on my commuter bus (then had it returned), our phones went out for two days, the rain created two water leaks in my office, and I discovered that our basement was infested with mold (which I aggressively vacuumed away).

It’s kind of cute how the universe picked up on my bad mood and magnified it.

The good news is that I’m old enough to know that this too shall pass. I can see my mood and the irritating events of this week as tiny blips on life’s screen.

And I know that it would serve me to slow down, catch my breath, and do one of the many things we often suggest: restore my energy with exercise, yoga or rest; repair my emotional state by meditating, and spending time with people I love.

How do you ride out your bad mood(s)? Maybe we can help each other out.