Tag: psychology

Mental Illness In the Workplace: My Crazy Office Overtime, Season 6

Kathi and Katherine talk about mental illness on this week’s My Crazy Office Overtime show.

Is your boss or coworker suffering from mental illness?

Listen to this week’s podcast here.

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Managing Anxiety At Work: My Crazy Office Overtime, Season 5

Kathi and Katherine talk about managing anxiety on this week’s My Crazy Office Overtime show.

What can you do to keep your anxiety at bay?

Listen to this week’s podcast here.

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Going with the Flow

Sometimes, the things we plan to do at work get completely derailed by other events that demand our attention. Your internet connection goes down, the lights blow out, a client emergency arises, or someone calls in sick.

In these moments, it’s easy to become both exasperated and tense. ‘How am I going to complete my list of tasks?’ you wonder. ‘Why did this have to happen?’

When unplanned events throw a wrench in your plans, your best strategy is to practice going with the flow. Going with the flow means you take a deep breath, adjust to the circumstances, and trust that things will work out. Going with the flow requires accepting the current reality of what just happened and moving with it.

Going with the flow at work is not an airy fairy response to emergencies and interruptions. Rather it’s an understanding that these sudden events are a part of life.

If something happens today that upsets your plans, try going with the flow. Take a deep breath, incorporate the new reality, and trust that tending to this inconvenient occurrence doesn’t have to ruin your day.

What he said…

This quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson is so beautiful, it needs to be its own meditation:

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

Boundaries, Anger and You

Interpersonal boundaries, the lines or parameters that define and protect the territory between individuals, can be difficult to discern. How do I know when my behavior feels invasive to you? How can you tell if you’ve offended my sense of propriety?

Because interpersonal boundaries are imperceptible to the human eye, and because they differ from person to person, they have to be communicated. Part of the work at work involves defining and expressing your own interpersonal boundaries.

Here’s a hint: If you are continually angry, upset or complaining about someone or something, you probably need to set a boundary.

In this case, anger can be your friend. It’s telling you that you feel invaded and probably need to protect yourself. It’s important not to act out in anger. Rather, notice who and what bothers you. Then consider whether you need to communicate a boundary.

If a coworker’s voice is too loud, can you ask that person to lower the volume – explaining that you’re having a hard time concentrating?

If your client is behind in payment, can you explain that until you receive payment for work already delivered, you won’t be able to move on future projects?

If your boss or coworkers habitually email you at midnight, can you stop responding to all emails after 10 p.m.?

Use your anger as a signal that someone may be inadvertently invading your territory. Then see what you can say or do to communicate your limit.

Letting nature help

Mother nature is a powerful tonic for whatever ails you. When it comes to work and the people, places and things that upset us, nature can pull us out of obsession, worry or frustration in a minute. You may not have the time or the inclination to walk along a sandy beach or hike up a rocky mountain trail. Still, you can soothe your mind and refresh your energy by taking just a few moments in your busy day to observe and absorb some aspect of nature.

Even urban settings provide blue skies, racing clouds, bright sun and shimmering moon. Perhaps you catch a flock of birds soaring overhead. You may notice the hearty smell of the earth as you walk to your bus or car or train.

Try it. Just a moment of ingesting the air, trees, grass, reeds, birds, squirrels, water, sky, or whatever form of nature thrives in your environment.

Take it in. Feel your feet on the ground. Become aware of your place in the bigger picture. Exhale and move forward with your day.

Accepting what we don’t like

One concept that is very hard to comprehend but very powerful when practiced is acceptance. Most people mistake acceptance for something else; they think that accepting a person or thing is the same as approving of it.

“I’m not going to accept my supervisor’s moodiness. That would be condoning the behavior.” Wrong. Acceptance is looking at what is and saying, “this Is my reality.”

So, for example, you can accept the fact that the economy is reeling but you don’t have to like it. You can accept the fact that your lazy coworker always finds reasons to dump work on your desk, but you don’t have to complete his or her assignments. You can accept the fact that you don’t like a certain customer without having to forfeit the business.

The simple act of stating what is and accepting it as your current reality breathes some air into the problem; makes it a little less dense; acknowledges your reality.

When something bugs you today, try accepting it. Just say, “I accept the fact that I’m caught in a traffic jam,” or “I accept the fact that my computer is down,” or “I accept the fact that Joyce talks incessantly.” Write down the facts about the people or things you don’t like then practice accepting them.

You’ll be amazed at the results.

It’s not personal

When it comes to workplace relationships, the notion of not taking someone else’s behavior personally is one of the toughest to really internalize.

If you are a friendly, thoughtful person, and someone at work never says “hello,” refuses to say “please” and never thanks you, it’s tempting to think that he or she is being mean and discourteous to YOU. The truth is that this individual is being who she or he is, and you happen to be there. That same individual would be just as rude to anyone else. You didn’t cause that behavior and it will continue long after you leave.

What would it be like if you could take a coworker or boss or company’s behavior less personally? How would you feel if you could attribute a cranky person’s brusque remarks as their problem, not yours?

Today, look for an opportunity to take someone else’s behavior less personally. whether it’s a sarcastic remark, a thoughtless act, or an angry reaction, remind yourself that you are not the reason why this person is acting poorly. It may feel personal, but it isn’t.