Tag: workplace relationships

#35: Negative People – My Crazy Office, Season 6

Kathi and Katherine talk about negative people on this week’s episode of the My Crazy Office podcast.

First we give advice about how to work with a negative coworker.

Then we discuss how to manage a negative employee.

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#34: Rambling – My Crazy Office, Season 6

Kathi and Katherine talk about communication on this week’s episode of the My Crazy Office podcast.

First we give advice to a direct communicator dealing with a coworker who has difficulty getting to the point.

Then we discuss how to deal with a rambling communicator when it’s a client or boss.

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If You’re Feeling Hysterical, It’s Probably Historical: My Crazy Office Overtime, Season 6

Katherine talks about historical triggers on this week’s My Crazy Office Overtime show.

Often when we’re feeling emotional about something at work, it’s because it’s triggering a past experience.

Listen to this week’s podcast here.

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#33: Best Of – Cliques – Season 6

Kathi and Katherine talk about cliques on this week’s episode of the My Crazy Office podcast.

First we give advice to a new employee who feels left out because her coworkers are divided into cliques.

Then we discuss how a manager should deal with a culture of cliques.

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My Crazy Office – Episode 2

Passive Aggressive behavior is hard to manage because it’s hard to detect, and impossible to confront. Kathi and Katherine tackle a listener’s question about handling a co-worker who talks trash about others behind their backs. They advise a boss who wants to detect passive aggressive employees before they do damage to the team.

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Responding to negative feedback

How do you feel when someone offers negative feedback to you? Do you appreciate it? Do you wish the person would go away? Do you bristle or blush or get steaming mad?

Receiving, processing and responding to feedback that isn’t positive can be a challenging exercise for many people. If you’re someone who cares deeply about your work, if you’re determined to produce excellent results, negative feedback can be humbling — even painful.

But it’s also extremely rich. If you can take the message and use it for learning purposes, (instead of a whipping post) negative feedback always helps you grow.

Today, if someone criticizes your way of performing a task, or corrects your presentation, or re-writes your copy or critiques your design, see if you can take the information in without feeling bad about yourself or despising the messenger.

Say “I’m willing to find the good in this moment.” Take a breath, thank the person who delivers it, and take a little time to cool off. Then use the feedback to improve your professional self.

Before You Offer Advice…

Before you offer advice, make sure that the person on the receiving end is open to hearing it.

Sometimes, we think we know what someone needs to do or say or even wear at work. We’re sure that we’re right, and if our colleague or client would just listen to us, a certain problem or situation would immediately improve.

But offering unsolicited advice to someone who’s not ready to receive it can create more problems going forward.

Before you offer advice, stop and take the recipient’s temperature.

Say, “I’ve got a few ideas about how to resolve _________. Let me know when you’re ready to hear it.”

If you’re itching to advise a colleague on a personal matter like health or weight or love life, you’re better off waiting until that person requests your input.

If you can’t hold it in, say, “I’m having a strong reaction to ________. Can we discuss it?” Or “I’m really concerned about ________ . “ and see how the listener responds.

It may be hard to zip your lip. You may feel anxious and frustrated. But learning when and how to offer advice is an important life skill. It takes practice to offer assistance in a way that can be received.

Boundaries, Anger and You

Interpersonal boundaries, the lines or parameters that define and protect the territory between individuals, can be difficult to discern. How do I know when my behavior feels invasive to you? How can you tell if you’ve offended my sense of propriety?

Because interpersonal boundaries are imperceptible to the human eye, and because they differ from person to person, they have to be communicated. Part of the work at work involves defining and expressing your own interpersonal boundaries.

Here’s a hint: If you are continually angry, upset or complaining about someone or something, you probably need to set a boundary.

In this case, anger can be your friend. It’s telling you that you feel invaded and probably need to protect yourself. It’s important not to act out in anger. Rather, notice who and what bothers you. Then consider whether you need to communicate a boundary.

If a coworker’s voice is too loud, can you ask that person to lower the volume – explaining that you’re having a hard time concentrating?

If your client is behind in payment, can you explain that until you receive payment for work already delivered, you won’t be able to move on future projects?

If your boss or coworkers habitually email you at midnight, can you stop responding to all emails after 10 p.m.?

Use your anger as a signal that someone may be inadvertently invading your territory. Then see what you can say or do to communicate your limit.