Category: My Crazy Office

Being Kind to Your Emotionally Exhausted Self

So here we are. For many people this is week six (or more) of sheltering in place.

It’s also week six of home schooling, endless meal preparation, social isolation, working remotely, and celebrating almost every occasion we can think of virtually – on Zoom, Google Chat, FaceTime, Skype and whatever other device or platform appeals to you.

For some, the past six weeks have included sudden, tragic losses of family members or friends. For others, the losses have involved employment, income, daily routines, human contact, favorite past-times or any sense of normalcy. It’s been rough.

As a collective population, we are tired. We keep trying to figure out where we are headed, and when we will be able to return to some form of our pre-Corona lives. In the meantime, we have to manage the feelings of loss, frustration, anger, fear, sadness, and anxiety that are “normal” during a pandemic of these proportions.

While we wait for the next phase of this very strange time, I encourage everyone to find just a few simple ways to be kind to your emotionally exhausted self.  

Here’s what being kind to your emotionally exhausted self could look like:

You stop for a minute every day, and give yourself credit for all you are doing to keep your life (and that of your family and friends) intact.

You take time to cool your system down by going on an extra walk, taking a full lunch break, or enjoying a longer-than-normal shower.

You protect yourself from overworking by instating email curfews — no reading or responding to emails after 10 pm. No opening emails in the morning until you’re out of bed.

You take time to reach out to the people who are able to hear you complain and are gifted at making you laugh. 

You make sure to read, watch, or listen to something pleasurable before going to bed.

You help yourself get better sleep by listening to a meditation or relaxation podcast designed for that purpose.

You forgive yourself for being overly sensitive or irritable during the day. And you forgive others for the same thing.

Being kind to your emotionally exhausted self recognizes that this has already been a long haul, that you have done your best to weather it, and that you will surely continue to carry on. I encourage you to try one or all of these tactics as an act of kindness – your exhausted self with thank you.

Katherine Crowley – Career Therapist and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co for any further help around this topic.

 

Finding the Essential in Your Work – The Measure of Who We Are is How We Make Ourselves Useful in Chaos

During this pandemic, it’s our essential workers who can travel and physically go to work while the rest of us shelter at home. We naturally and deservingly celebrate these dedicated and courageous members of our workforce. We are forever grateful to our medical workers, police and firefighters, EMT’s, transit workers, mailmen, package delivery folks, food delivery people, supermarket personnel, liquor store workers, military etc.

If you are not considered an essential worker today, that does not mean your work is not important and essential at other times. But, many of my clients are wondering how they can be of service at this time. Some are feeling sad that their work is not needed, and some are discovering what can be essential in what they are doing.

How do you become essential? By making your product or service useful to your customers at this time.

For example, you may want to offer your product or service at a very low cost today in order to insure business in the future. If you have a product, it might be time to put that product on sale to make it more desirable. If you are a hairstylist, fitness trainer or home organizer, you may want to reach out to your clients and see if you can help them do some maintenance with a video call. 

If you are a travel professional, it could be time to reach out to your customers and talk about future trends, or get them excited about what’s next. It’s best to stay in touch. Remember out of sight before you become out of mind.

Ask yourself:   

  • What will my customers need when we emerge – immediate & long term?
  • Should we package our work differently – maybe online?
  • Should we redesign our pricing to incentivize for a while?
  • How can we celebrate our business as essential and necessary?  
  • How can we make it available immediately for service or delivery?
  • How can we celebrate our customers with something that is essential? 

Think out of the box and be generous. Think Strategically:

  • Be useful
  • Be helpful
  • Be grateful
  • Be forward thinking
  • Be resourceful
  • Be creative and original

We are all in this together, and together we will get through this. All of our customers and clients will once again need us more then they need at this time. Business will resume. The economy will come back, and so will our work.

Kathi Elster – Executive Coach and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises.

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co for any further help around this topic.

Self-Care During Troubled Times

As many of us move through another week of being Sheltered in Place, it becomes increasingly more challenging to break away from the continuous demands of home, work, family, child care, elder care, animal care, and take a moment for ourselves. Without any boundaries or breaks between home life and work life, hard workers just work harder, depleting their energy to the point of either freaking out, blowing up or collapsing from exhaustion. You may find yourself feeling depressed, unfocused, or less productive than usual. For any and all of these circumstances, self-care can help.

Self-Care may seem like a luxury when you are busy trying to juggle work obligations with home responsibilities during a global crisis. Many of the outlets that normally nourish us – gyms, restaurants, places of worship, shopping malls, spas, museums, music venues, nail and hair salons, parks – are not available. We are left to create self-care moments on our own.

Here are nine ways to practice the most basic form of self-care – taking breaks during your day:

  • Go for a 10-minute walk before you start your work day
  • Take a 10-minute relaxation break in the middle of your day using Calm, Headspace, 10% Happier or any other meditation app you like.
  • Insist on a real lunch break during which you refrain from using any screens and actually taste your food.
  • Indulge in a 10-minute music break — Play your favorite songs, and dance or sing along.
  • Buy some flowers for your home and take regular flower breaks – smelling them, touching them, enjoying their beauty.
  • Spend an extra 10-minutes after your bath or shower and give yourself a facial (refer to YouTube for simple facial techniques)
  • Make yourself laugh – Watch your favorite funny animal video, a clip from a comedian or TV show you enjoy, or anything else you know will make you laugh.
  • Let yourself cry – I know, this may seem self-indulgent or weak, but releasing tension or sadness through tears can be very cleansing. You may become tearful as you watch a feel-good movie or an ASPCA commercial. Whatever sparks it, try to give yourself permission to emote.
  • Take a pet break – If you have a pet at home, spend a few moments just sitting with them. Pet them, smile at them, and take in their affection.

Do any of these appeal to you? Did you think of others on your own? Whatever your idea of self-care is, I encourage you to instate a few practices every day. In order to take the best care of others, you need to take care of yourself. 

Katherine Crowley – Career Therapist and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co for any further help around this topic.

Bring More Purpose Into Your Work Life

The CoVid-19 Pandemic quarantine has forced many of us to slow down and become quiet. When we become quiet we have the opportunity to hear our deepest thoughts.

If you still have your job you might be asking yourself, “Is my work fulfilling my purpose?” If you lost your job you might be thinking, “I want more meaning and purpose in my next position.” If you run your own business you might be thinking, “How can my business be more aligned with my purpose and passion?”

Many of my clients have told me they find themselves thinking deeply and wondering if now is the time to pivot and move towards finding the work they really want. Many are seeing that they are in fact doing work that is meaningful to them. And some are asking themselves, “OK, what really matters to me and what’s next?”

In order to connect to your purpose, start by identifying your values. Take a few minutes to answer the following questions:

1 – What are 3 experiences in your life that left you feeling proud and on purpose?

2 – What are 3 experiences in your life that gave you the greatest peace and satisfaction?

3 – What are 3 experiences in your life where you felt most alive?

4 – What are the 3 qualities that you find most admirable in other people?

5 – What 3 words explain you at your best?

6 – 200 years from today, what is the one thing you’d like people to say about you?

The answers to these questions will give you a clue into your deepest values, which are the down payment on your purpose.  

In my work I find that the most fulfilled people are the ones who do not compromise their values and by doing so they end up in a workplace that gives them purpose.  

My client and friend Carol is the most loving and compassionate person I know. 

I originally met her when she worked in HR for a Hospice. It’s no wonder that she now works for an organization that houses the homeless, overseeing their 950+ person staff.

I have another client who, after law school, worked for an organization that did legal work for women who were sex trafficked. It’s no surprise that today she works to better the lives of under-privileged children. 

I also have an extroverted, artistic client who’s always found meaning in making sure that others are happy. She became a photographer that shoots weddings and other happy occasions.

Finding your values to understand your purpose will contribute to your passion and ultimately support your performance. In a loud business world that touts money, overdrive, and prestige, it can sometimes feel second class or not truly business smart to care about being true to yourself. Do not be afraid.

Over the 30 years that I have been advocating living your purpose and values, I think now is the time to make Living Our Purpose the way to go!!!

Kathi Elster – Executive Coach and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises.

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co for any further help around this topic.

This is A Marathon, Not A Sprint – How to Manage Your Emotions During the Pandemic

One message that we are all hearing over and over again is that the current state of affairs is going to last for a while. It’s clear that, from an emotional endurance point of view, we are looking at a situation that is more of a marathon than a sprint. With that in mind, here are some tips for managing your emotional and mental health while living and working with the pandemic.

  • Make room for grief – Last week, the Harvard Business Review published an excellent article entitled, “That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief.” (https://bit.ly/2wI6uhC) It explained that due to the range of losses resulting from the pandemic (income, routine, sense of safety, human connection, life) we are in a collective state of grief. Grief has different stages. There’s denial, anger/blame, bargaining, sadness/depression, and acceptance/renewal. We are all cycling through these feelings on an hourly, daily or weekly basis. Making room for grief means that when you feel enraged by a co-worker who arrives late for a conference call, you realize that your reaction may not just be about his tardiness. It may also be your experience of grief. 
  • Take time to rest – One of the best ways to address feelings of grief and to protect your immune system is through rest. Rest is accomplished whenever we turn down the volume on our digital lives, and engage in something restorative. Rest can involve a good night’s sleep, a daytime nap, a walk outside, an exercise or yoga routine, 10 minutes of meditation, cooking, or a chat with a friend. You may feel rested when you listen to music, play an instrument, take a bath, read a book, or watch your favorite movie or video. Whatever restores your energy and relaxes your brain, schedule time to do it.
  • Practice compassionate self-discipline – Given the degree of upheaval that you are probably experiencing, it may be challenging to be as self-disciplined as you were pre-Corona. Compassionate self-discipline encourages you to maintain as many healthy practices as you can — wake up at the same hour, dress for work, eat well (if you can), exercise, meditate, plan your day. At the same time, compassionate self-discipline understands that there may be days and circumstances when all of those practices get kicked to the curb. Compassionate self-discipline aims to keep you healthy without beating you up. 
  • Forgive yourself and others for slips – We are all living under extremely stressful times, and each person’s stressors are slightly different. It’s important to understand that you and the people in your life (coworkers, bosses, family members, friends) are probably having emotional slips from time to time. Feelings of fear, anger, anxiety and sadness may morph into harsh remarks, obsessive behavior, forgotten promises, shut down emotions, and heated arguments. This is a time to take a deep breath and let go of things said in the heat (or cold) of the moment. Chances are that you and the people in your life are emotionally exhausted; everyone is doing the best that they can.

Katherine Crowley – Career Therapist and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co for any further help around this topic.

Remote Working Etiquette – During the Covid Pandemic

We are all being ordered to work remotely. For those who are accustomed to working this way, it’s likely you’ve developed best practices. At the same time, even seasoned remote workers may have kids at home or pets who suddenly expect your attention 24/7. While some families have come together to shelter in place against the virus, many people are living (and working) alone. Both situations have their challenges. We are now in a new reality that requires new rules for etiquette and protocol.

Here are 10 things to consider as organizations create internal systems for their remote working culture.

1 – Be mindful of workday hours and please take time zones into consideration. For some organizations, this may be a time of true emergency. During an emergency, it’s all hands-on deck. You may be required to respond to emails or texts from your manager or co-worker at all hours of the day/night. If your business does not fall into the emergency category, however, please reconsider working as if you are. Set realistic work hours and refrain from communicating outside of those times.

2 – Use video conferencing – to help with the isolation and communication. Using a camera will help you, your coworkers, and possibly your clients connect. Seeing your team will remind everyone that they are not alone. It’s also interesting to see each other’s homes (or at least the room used for work).

3 – Be transparent with communication. Without the office water cooler for conversation/gossip, it easy to fall out of the office communication loop. Use all forms of telecommunication (texting, Face Time, Slack etc.) that can enable you and your colleagues to ask questions and get all the news you once were able to obtain by being in the same space. If you need to run an errand or help your kid, let others know.

4 – Do not base work performance solely on hours. Each organization will want to use an online tracking system for productivity.  Examples are Basecamp, Slack, Trello, Wrike, Zoho projects and Google Drive. As home responsibilities for many have increased, some people will not have the same uninterrupted time to put into their work day, but still may be able to be as productive. Establish an honor system (set expectations and deadlines) then try to be respectful of each person’s situation.

5 – Train your workers on using video conferencing and online tools. Don’t assume anything. Have your office tech run a few tutorials to be sure that no one feels incompetent, embarrassed or ashamed.

6 – Watch your communication style while on camera. Eye rolling and looking uninterested will show. Get dressed – casual is fine – but wear bottoms just in case you have to get up to get something.

7 – Be sensitive to cultural and age differences. Keep communication professional. Using short cuts to speak may work for your peers, but be aware that others may not get your humor or contemporary slang.

8 – When on a teleconference don’t all talk at once. Without visual cues, it can be easy to talk over one another during a conference call. It might be best to have a moderator who can track each participant and determine who wants to speak next. Establish order.

9 – Be flexible about kids and pets in the background. Children and pets are a reality in today’s world of remote working. You and your coworkers should do your best to have a space at home where you can have privacy but many people do not have that luxury. 

10 – Avoid eating during videoconference and teleconference calls. Others can hear you crunching and slurping. Sipping water while on a call or meeting may be fine – we all need to stay hydrated. Save your snacks and beverages, however, for Virtual Happy Hour, which happens at the end of the workday, right?

Kathi Elster – Executive Coach and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises.

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co for any further help around this topic.

The Best Leadership Tactics for Getting Through the Covid 19 Crisis

You may be the leader of a large organization, the executive director of a nonprofit, the manager of a team, the owner of a business with a few staff, or the sole proprietor of a small business.  It does not matter how many people directly report to you. At this time, we are all called to be leaders. What does that mean?

1 – Be the calm in the storm. One of my clients is the Executive Director of a large retirement community.  After describing the extensive plan she’d developed to protect all residents and staff from the virus, she said, “You want me in a crisis, because when everyone gets upset I get calm.” She shared her process: “I make my lists and methodically take care of each item as calmly as possible. I think through what could go wrong, and take steps to eliminate every problem as best as I can.” 

2 – Make tough decisions. Confronted with the prospect of several months of delayed revenue, managers, business owners and CEO’s everywhere face tough decisions. One CEO told me she’d asked her CFO for a cash projection for the year. To her surprise, she found out that her organization had more cash on hand than she’d originally thought. Because money will be coming in, she does not have to let people go. Another CEO conducted the same kind of financial analysis for her organization with less favorable results. She is preparing to lay staff off.  

3 – Be the positive voice, and at the same time be realistic. It is time to be transparent. I know you’re thinking that the term transparent has been overused.  Transparent simply means tell the truth. If you know that your company or department or organization must take difficult steps like letting staff go, communicate that clearly. Describe the problem and what you are doing about it: “We may have to let some people go. We may lose business. But we are looking to secure financing.” Tell them the truth. Tell them you are doing all you can – then deliver on your promise; they are watching.

4 – Care about your people like you have never cared before. I had a client ask, “How are you doing?” I said, “Fine.” She said, “No. Tell me how you are really doing.” That individual showed true concern for my well-being. Take the lead in this area, and express true interest in your staff’s physical, mental and emotional state. I have another client who is holding a virtual happy hour for her employees every day at 6:00 pm – participation not required. If you manage people who are considered essential workers, give them food, drinks, cash – whatever they need. And be sure to take care of their families. 

5 – Look for creative ways to give. This is not a time to look for business. It will come if you show and believe we are all in this together. Think Give not Get. Can your company retool and make masks or hospital gowns for medial staff? Can you put your services online? Shaun the co-owner of Seagull Hair salon here in NYC, is putting up tutorials on how to cut your bangs, touch up your roots and trim your beard at home. Think out of the box: How can you keep your clients be engaged without any expectations? When you return to work, your clients will return to you because they received from you.  

6 – Make sacrifices. This is a time when you may have to ask staff to take pay cuts. Those pay cuts should not exclude you. You may have staff that are home schooling while their partner is an essential worker. You might want to take on some of their work to lighten their load.

Kathi Elster – Executive Coach and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises.

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co with any questions or for further help around this topic.

Dealing with Uncertainty

Without question, these are uncertain times. Daily routines, work lives, economic conditions and social lives have been uprooted and disrupted. Homes now serve as offices, school rooms, infirmaries, and personal gyms. We don’t know when we will get our normal lives back again.
Because there is so much we can’t control at this time, it’s important to notice and act on the things that we can. The following are things you can do to calm your nervous system, take control of your environment, and deal with these uncertain times in a constructive manner:
• Create order in small areas that you can control
Uncertainty can feel chaotic. To manage the chaos, it’s important to take small actions that provide order to your life: Get up at a regular hour, make your bed, dress for work, continue your workout routine (even if you have to modify it), plan meals, coordinate with family members when scheduling your day.
• Do things to calm your nervous system
Think of your emotions as energy-in-motion. To release anxiety, you want to do things that let the energy of anxiety move through your body. Physical activity or home workouts can really help here. Meditation, yoga, and relaxation exercises are also good. Activities like cooking, singing, playing music, playing games, making art or building things can help your brain relax.
• Stay informed but don’t drown in information
Uncertainty makes us crave control. One way you may strive for control is by tracking every piece of news that comes out about CoVid-19 on social media, online news, or TV. Information overload will make you more anxious, not less. Limits on news consumption (checking in the morning, mid-day, and at end of day) will help your brain rest – which it needs to come up with clever solutions to uncertain times.
• Look for ways to be of service
Helping, assisting, caring for others is a very concrete tool for calming your mind and lifting your spirits during times of uncertainty. With social distancing and self-quarantining, the kind of help you can offer may not be “hands on” but it still counts. Phone calls to people living alone or elderly friends/family can make a difference. Video chats with friends who need to connect. Cooking meals for others that can be dropped at their homes. Reach out in some way, and offer to help. It will give you a sense of purpose and control.
• Work at being present
Being present means you are not running forward trying to predict the worst-case scenario nor are you glancing backward focusing on what you, your business, or your government should have done differently. Being present means you look at where you are today, appreciate what you have, and take small, concrete actions to live your life as well as you can. Being present can be very challenging during uncertain times, but it allows you to deal with the current reality from a non-hysterical place.
• Practice gratitude for simple things

Practicing gratitude is one of the most powerful tools you can use during uncertain times. Gratitude allows you to see what you have and what’s working rather than focusing on what you may lose and what isn’t working. You can be grateful for your food, your morning cup of coffee, your smart phone, your bed. List three things you are grateful at the beginning of every day and share that list with a friend.

Katherine Crowley – Career Therapist and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises.

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co with any questions or for further help around this topic.