Tag: advice

Tough Conversations Require Executive Presence

You are probably facing some difficult conversations at work regarding Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI). If not, you should be. Now is the time.  

Entering these uncomfortable discussions requires the first rule of executive presence, Know Your Audience. Knowing your audience means that you are able to communicate the necessary messages without ruffling feathers. You know the audience well enough that you can speak to their fears with compassion and speak into their biases with no judgment. Not knowing your audience brings the risk of not being heard, which results in not helping yourself or others.

Listen up – before you walk in or phone or zoom into any of these conversations consider the following:

1 – Think about the receptivity of those in attendance. 

  • Are they old school and close minded?
  • Are they defensive?
  • Are they kind but very sensitive?
  • Do they think they are colorblind but they aren’t?
  • Is there someone who will back you?

2 – Check in with yourself.  

  • Are you feeling too angry to speak?
  • Are you too emotional and need time to retreat?
  • Are you feeling rushed and pressured into this?
  • Do you fear telling your truth at work?

3 – Get to a higher place  – above your initial feelings and into your wisdom.

  • You may need to exercise -take a run or engage in any form of exercise that helps to cool your system down.
  • Meditation can also help.
  • Try journaling, writing your thoughts out.
  • Talking to a professional or an experienced facilitator can help. 

4 – Communicate from a place of clear, refined messaging.

  • Think about what people can hear, not what you want them to hear.
  • Carefully choose your words to move the conversation forward, instead of using words that generate conflict.
  • Listen and watch for reactions; if your tone or words are not working, change your tactic.
  • Don’t blame, don’t accuse and don’t point fingers. 
  • Listen with compassion. 

As you embark on difficult conversations about diversity, equity and inclusion, you may be experiencing all kinds of emotions like anger, fear, dread, and exhaustion. But, as long as you are willing to tackle these issues, you can bring about necessary, long-awaited change. Let us know how you are doing, and if we can help.

Kathi Elster – Executive Coach and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises.

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co for any further help around this topic.

The Next Transition – Back to the Office

As some of the restrictions due to the COVID-19 pandemic begin to lift, and some people cautiously begin to return to their work environments, we are tasked with the job of managing yet another period of transition. It is the transition from the safety and predictability of our quarantined home environments to the uncertainty and potential risks of the outside world. It’s the transition from the daily routines and practices that we have established while sheltering in place, to the new routines and practices that involve people and things outside of the home.

Even if you are still working from home, you are probably in transition. You and members of your family may now be interacting more with the world at large by venturing out to see friends, visit stores, go to restaurants, travel short distances, or participate in outdoor events. 

Transitions can be tricky. They can bring up a range of feelings – from fear and anxiety to impatience and irritability.  Transitions heighten our emotional reactions; they put us a little more on edge.

If, for example, you are returning to your office after several months away, just the thought of returning to your former work setting may set off both excitement and anxiety. If you see that one of your coworkers is less cautious than you are regarding social distancing, you may feel a flash of anger or fear. As you head to the office, you may experience a sense of dread – even though you know that your company is putting all of the necessary safety precautions in place. 

Are you in transition? Are aspects of your home life and work life changing? If so, here are a few suggestions for how to manage emotional ups and downs that may come with change: 

  • Appreciate that change, even positive change, is disruptive.

As difficult as the past few months have been, you managed to carve out a routine and to establish new patterns of living. Now, you have to change the mix of activities again. It may be great to expand your world, but stressful at the same time.

  • Do things to help yourself calm down and cool off.

Releasing pent up energy through exercise, walking, dancing, working out, biking, etc., remains one of the best self-care things you can do, but it’s especially valuable during times of transition. If you have an exercise routine, stick to it. If not, consider developing some kind of physical outlet to calm your nerves and lower your emotional temperature.

  • Decide which healthy routines you want to keep in place.

You may have developed some good habits over the past few months. Better eating, more family time, shorter workdays, time for hobbies. As you transition out of sheltering in place, retain the routines that you value. It will help you feel a greater sense of comfort and control.

  • Get extra rest.

As you consider re-entering your former work environment, your mind will be working double time preparing for and planning your next steps. Your body and brain will benefit if you commit to getting plenty of sleep (if possible), and finding time to unwind at the end of the day. 

Managing transitions during normal times can be challenging. During these unpredictable times, changing your working and living patterns may be both welcome and stressful. Give yourself credit for being in transition, and take care of your mind and body as you move forward.

Katherine Crowley – Career Therapist and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises.

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co for any further help around this topic.

Do You Have Staff Who Are Afraid to Return to the Office?

In just a matter of days, the coronavirus pushed people inside their homes, accelerating a digital transformation around the world.

Getting workers out of their homes and back into offices is going to prove harder. According to a new survey by researchers at India-based workplace services firm Ionotrics and San Diego–based Global Workplace Analytics:

77 percent of the workforce wants to continue to work from home at least part of the time once the pandemic is over. That’s up from 60 percent one month ago. That’s a 132 percent increase from before the coronavirus crisis, according to the Work-from-Home Experience Survey in which more than 2,600 employees from around the world participated.

As the country is opening up, employees are faced with a decision – do they go back to the office or not? Many of my clients are telling me that members of their staff are fearful about returning. Compassion still reigns. You may have to consider each person, and the factors that they are grappling with. If you have a staff member who fits into any of the following categories, their return will most likely be delayed:

  • They have kids at home who need home schooling
  • They have underlying health concerns
  • They are over the age of 60
  • They live in a metro city and use public transportation

In some states, employees who fit into one of these categories may qualify for unemployment – if they must return to the office and are not able to. Other employees most likely need reassurance and to be listened to. It’s important to calm nerves and listen to staff concerns. Here are some guiding principles:

  • Ask your staff what they need in order to return to the office safely.
  • Plan and communicate how you are preparing the office for their return
    • Cleaning – Describe your ongoing plan for keeping the office clean from Covid 19
    • Spacing – Follow the CDC’s guidelines for distance in the office
    • Wearing facemasks and gloves – Will you be supplying them or do they need to bring their own?
    • Rotating schedules – 2 days in, 2 days at home. Think low capacity
      commuting before or after rush hours.
    • Change in dress code – I’m going to predict that the workplace is about to get really casual
  • Take it slow. 

Coming out of the cave after a long winter, a bear needs time to acclimate. You may want to start with visiting the office ahead of opening, and encouraging your staff to do the same. Then try two days the first week and see how it goes.

  • Offer emotional support if possible. 

Professional coaches, therapists and clergy can talk to your staff about their mental health. It will pay off in the long run.

  • Be transparent about possible layoffs, furloughs or job eliminations. No surprises please, let them prepare.
  • Have real communication about diversity.  

Create guidelines for behavior in these conversations, and have a moderator who keeps the conversation constructive. Offer books and movies as resources. Have conversations that allow staff to express their fear, pain, and anger. This kind of sharing can be extremely emotional, so make sure you to have professional support around it.

  • Practice People Over Profit  

Sure, we are working to earn money, and companies must be profitable to hire people, and I know that in some industries robots will replace people. Given this reality, how can you make the workplace a desirable and safe place so that people want to work for you? 

Please let us know how the transition back to the office works for you and your company.

Kathi Elster – Executive Coach and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises.

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co for any further help around this topic.

Anxious About Re-entry to the Office?

Re-entry anxiety, it’s a real phenomenon. While one part of you may be eager to get back into the world to experience a semi-normal life, another part of you may be petrified. Going back to the office, venturing outdoors, visiting with friends – all of these activities that used to be automatic can now spark waves of fear and anxiety. 

Why? Because your mind has gotten used to a certain way of living during the pandemic that feels safe and under your control.  Sheltering in place may be confining, but it is predictable. You know exactly what is coming into and what is going out of your environment. You know how to safely manage your life.

Re-entry adds a range of new ingredients – especially other people – that can literally feel hazardous to your health.

So how do we handle our fear of re-entering?

  • Acknowledge that re-entry anxiety is understandable and real. It’s the outcome of sheltering in place in a safe environment that you can control. Going outside of that environment will naturally spark some fear.
  • Identify your specific fears. If you are someone who is physically vulnerable to the virus, you may fear contracting it because of more exposure to more people. If you are someone who is generally anxious, your anxiety may be heightened due to anticipatory anxiety. Are you afraid of large crowds? Confined spaces? Returning to work in general? Public transportation? Identify the specifics so that you can address them.
  • Once you know the fears, talk about them with others. Better to voice your anxiety than to hold it in. You can do this with a sympathetic friend, a family member, or a hired professional. You may want to consult a physician if you have specific medical concerns or psychological counselor if the anxiety feels debilitating. 
  • Construct a plan to re-enter that is cautious and gradual. The treatment for anxiety is not to stay locked in. It is to slowly, carefully expose yourself to more experiences so that you can find a way to re-enter your former life. You want to respect the anxiety without letting it hold you hostage.
  • If your re-entry anxiety involves work, talk it over with your employer. Many companies are eager to discuss re-entry with their staff and to construct a plan that can help them feel safe. Perhaps you can create a reduced schedule or minimal commuting for the time being.
  • Keep doing the activities and routines that you find nourishing. While sheltering in place, have you enjoyed cooking? Do you have an exercise routine that gives you energy? Is there a creative pastime (drawing, singing, dancing) that you’ve put into practice? Those activities can be grounding and soothing to you as you begin to re-enter your former life.

One more thing, if part of what you fear involves returning to a competitive workplace or working endless hours, you may want to consider some longer-range changes. Do you need to re-design your job? Do you need to look for a different work situation altogether? You may not be ready to make any immediate changes, but you can begin to contemplate the kind of work life and home life that will ultimately work for you.

Katherine Crowley – Career Therapist and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises.

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co for any further help around this topic.

Take Your Vacation! Even In A Pandemic

Remember the good old days of summer, when we had summer Fridays off and two-week vacations that we planned all year long? If you are like me, you have a favorite spot; mine is on Fire Island. Nothing fancy, but a small cabin on a private beach with a really good restaurant. It’s a total release into peace and rejuvenation. Got the picture? I’m sure you have your slice of heaven as well.

Well for most of us, that will have to wait another year. In the meantime, what is your organization doing? Encouraging you to take the time off? Still keeping summer hours? I sure hope so. Just because we won’t be flying or traveling beyond a road trip, doesn’t mean we don’t need to take time for our well-being.

Time off is important. I’ll say it again for those of you who speed-read. Time off is important. It’s important for our physical and mental health. The concept of a staycation, a Canadian term coined in 2004, has never meant as much as it does today. Take your summer Fridays off. Take your vacation time off. Take your PTO time off. Take whatever your company is giving and use it for yourself. 

Let’s consider a few ways to use your time off to rejuvenate and refresh.

But first, you must obey the Three Laws of Vacation by K Squared:

1 – Do not check your email or do any work. (If you must, make it once a day.)

2 – If your work involves screen time (of course it does) stay off your screen.

3 – Detach from work – do not think about it. (Read Working with You Is Killing Me to learn how to detach.)

Here are a few ideas that can help you stay off email, limit your screen time and detach from work:

  • Hiking – It might be a road trip, or maybe you have trails where you live. Look for something less traveled or less known.
  • Home Spa – Who doesn’t need a mani-pedi or a facial? Take a long hot bath with soft music, candles and essential oils.
  • Games – crossword puzzles, puzzles, board games, words with friends.
  • Ordering in from restaurants that you have never tried – Maybe a higher quality or something you have wanted to try but have not gotten around to it.
  • Cooking from an online food service. Order online from Blue Apron, Eataly, Omaha steaks, or any service you’ve wanted to try. Use their recipes and ingredients to have a new experience. 
  • Day trip scenic drives – Take in some history or visit something beautiful.
  • Self-care day at home – Sleep in, have a glass of wine early in the day. Watch TV.  Stay in bed and meditate.

Staycations are not like traveling to my place on Fire Island where the environment takes you in. Staycations take effort, focus and vigilance. You need to be creative and resourceful enough to not let boredom, work, and just doing nothing take over. Plan your time off and use it to your benefit. The effort and planning will pay off.

Kathi Elster – Executive Coach and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises.

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co for any further help around this topic.

Are You Giving Yourself Credit?

As we move through week 10 of sheltering in place, it may be difficult to give yourself credit for much. You may have trouble focusing at work. You may be tired of making the best of a confined living situation. You may feel that you just aren’t getting things done. Instead of holding yourself to pre-COVID standards, why not look at your current circumstances through the lens of accomplishment? Here are some things for which you probably deserve credit:  

Managing work and home

These days work and home are so blended that it’s hard to “turn off” one to fully focus on the other. Yet somehow, you’ve managed to perform your work duties while juggling home responsibilities, whether they involve cleaning, cooking, child care, animal care, family care or home maintenance. You deserve a round of applause for that. 

Handling social isolation

Even if you’re an introvert who prefers being alone, this degree of social isolation is hard. Human beings are social beings at the core. The pandemic has deprived us of even casual social contact with people on the street or in public places. Whatever your situation, give yourself credit for enduring the isolation and taking actions to maintain safe contact with co-workers, family and friends.

Living alone

For those who live alone, sheltering in place can be particularly challenging. It takes courage to keep your spirits up, to stay out of catastrophic thinking, and to trust that this too shall pass. Your ability to be resilient, to take one day at a time and to find creative ways of staying connected to others deserves recognition. 

Living with others

It’s one thing to live with others during normal times. Each person is able to come and go, and shared space is only shared for short periods of time. Sheltering in Place has created a completely different dynamic. Now, it can be hard to have a quiet moment, find privacy, or feel relief. It may seem like everything you do is scrutinized, or that everything you do goes unappreciated. Whatever your experience has been, give yourself credit for keeping your cool most of the time, and for successfully sharing a home under extremely stressful conditions.

Being patient

Even if you don’t feel patient, you have been patient enough to weather the restrictions placed on you because of COVID-19, and to follow the guidelines of your local and state leaders. You’ve patiently waited for instructions about how to live your life, what kind of contact is permissible and when you may be able to resume certain activities. Patience during times of uncertainty is NOT easy. Give yourself credit.

Moving forward

Preparing to step out into the world, into your workplace, and into your community may be anxiety provoking, but it is part of returning to life. You are doing it. You will be doing it. And as you take the initial steps to return to certain locations and activities, you can give yourself credit for taking the necessary precautions and getting back into the game.

Katherine Crowley – Career Therapist and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises.

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co for any further help around this topic.

The Importance of Praise

This is a stressful time. As we continue to live with uncertainty, nerves can fray, hope can turn to fear, and disappointment can turn to deep sadness and depression. As the weeks of our pandemic quarantine pass, our initial response of being on our best behavior may be giving way to more normal reactions to work annoyances and unrealistic expectations. 

So, without sounding sappy – and those who know me know I’m not sappy – what if we all tried to be nicer to one another? I’m talking about kindness and respect. There may be certain days where remembering to be nice to your co-workers, clients, vendors or management could pose a challenge, but you can forgive yourself for those days and start again tomorrow.

What takes a few seconds to do could make someone’s day. You have no idea what people are dealing with in their personal lives so just be nice, it’s that simple.

Consider the following:

  • How about asking everyone you come in contact with – “How is your day going?” And wait for their answer.  Let’s go a little deeper than the usual, exchange of “How are you?” “Fine.” 
  • When on a Zoom call, why not say, “You look good today.” Then wait to see the other person smile.
  • Reach out to people via text, phone or email and say – “I was thinking about you” especially to those co-workers who live alone.
  • Take a moment to tell your coworkers, “Nice job on that project.” Of course, you do need to mean it.  Acknowledging the effort someone puts into their work can help them feel good – especially during these difficult days.
  • Practice saying, “Thank you,” even for the small things. Most of the time, we don’t need to thank others daily.  We’re usually working at a fast pace, moving from one thing to the next. Offering an unexpected “Thank you,” can create a much-needed positive moment in someone’s day.
  • When in a virtual or in-person meeting try saying, “I appreciate your input.” So often we don’t take the time to acknowledge the ideas that other people contribute. Whether we use that input or not, praising another person for their ideas helps them flourish and get better at offering ideas over time.

I know that not all corporate cultures will find these practices comfortable, so pick and choose wisely.  But kindness and praise never hurt anyone, so give it a try.

Kathi Elster – Executive Coach and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises.

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co for any further help around this topic.

The Importance of Being Patient with Yourself

As many of us move through week nine of sheltering in place, it becomes more and more difficult to simply “keep calm and carry on.” 

Some of us may have started the quarantine with high hopes of a brief but successful period of isolation. Some of us may have used this time to launch creative projects, institute family activities, or get busy with different forms of home improvement. And some of us may have been contending with the actual virus – either because we contracted the illness ourselves or because a family member contracted it. 

Whatever your experience has been during this time, I can guarantee that it hasn’t been easy. It’s likely that you’ve had days of great productivity, and days of no productivity. You’ve felt good at times, and lousy at other times. You’ve probably encountered moments of hope and clarity followed by moments of hopelessness and confusion. 

Why does this matter? It matters because as we continue to cope with COVID-19, it’s important to also practice patience with our own process. Being patient with your process means you make room for your feelings, forgive your mistakes, and allow yourself to start again. 

  • Don’t minimize your experience. It can be tempting to engage in comparisons regarding your suffering versus the suffering of others. You may feel that because you didn’t contract the virus or lose your job, you have no right to have bad days. This attitude minimizes your experience and squelches your emotions, which does not help you feel better. You can feel badly for others and still pay attention to your experience. 
  • Give yourself permission to have a range of feelings. It would be normal to cycle through a wide range of feelings at this time – anxiety, sadness, anger, frustration, excitement, happiness, irritation, relief. All of these feelings are probably moving through you. Think of emotions as “energy in motion,” the more you acknowledge them, the faster they pass.
  • Don’t beat yourself up if you slip into unhealthy habits. I’ve spoken with a number of people who find themselves over-eating, over-drinking, over-texting, obsessively playing video games or shopping online. If you have an unhealthy habit you’ve slipped back into, do your best not to beat yourself up. Instead, reach out for support and try to get healthy again.
  • Allow yourself to start again. If you have a bad day, perform poorly at work, or fail to meet your own expectations some way, allow yourself to start again. It can be tempting to mentally punish yourself for mistakes and missteps. This does not help. Be patient with yourself and simply promise to do better next time. 
  • Ask for support if you need it. You may want to seek the support of a close friend, an understanding family member, or a professional coach or counselor. Asking for support is an important step in giving yourself room to express what you are going through and feel understood. 

Being patient with yourself may seem anti-intuitive during a pandemic. You may think that you should to be alert and on-the-ball at all times. But practicing patience with yourself will actually help you feel better, perform better and be more patient with others during this incredibly stressful time.

Katherine Crowley – Career Therapist and co-owner of K Squared Enterprises.

Contact us at info@mycrazyoffice.co for any further help around this topic.